Q. What do you call a detective in bed?
A. An under cover agent

Q. What’s black and white and black and white?
A. A penguin rolling down a hill.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A. Because his braces got caught on the fence.

Q. What did the biscuit say when his biscuit friend got run over?
A. Oh crumbs!

Q. What did Spoc (star trek) say to the sweaty man?
A. Live long and prospire.

Q. What did the vampire doctor say?
A. Necks please.

Q. What do the Egyptians sing on the Pharaoh’s birthday?
A. For he’s a jolly good Pharaoh.

Q. What did the tomato say to his friend lagging behind?
A. Ketchup

Q.    What do get if you cross a Smartie with a spell  
A.    A magic circle

Q. Man walks into a bar

Q. Who did the vampire marry?
A. The girl necks door!

Q.What do you get if you cross a cow and a rabbit?

A. A hare in you'r milk!

Q.What is pink and wobbly and flies?

A. A jellycopter!

Q.Why was the headmaster worried ?

A.Because there are too many rulers in the school !
Knock knock!
Whos there? Ben! Ben who? Ben Doon and lick my boots!  

Q. Which park has a dinosaur that goes “oink oink and “roar oar?
A. Jurassiac Pork

Q. What do u call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!!!


Q.     What is yellow and highly dangerous?
A.     Shark infested custard.

Q. How do you know an Elephant has been in the fridge?
A. Footprints in the butter!

Q. LADY=are you going anywhere nice dear
A. SHEEP=baaaaaaaarbados love

Q. What do you get if you cross a mercedes and a planet?

Q. What do u get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
I don't know, but i'm not going to smell it.

Q.   Why do elephants have flat feet?
From jumping out of tall trees

Q.   A school inspector was talking to a pupil.
"How many teachers work in this school?" he asked.

"Only about half of them, I reckon," replied the pupil.  

Q. How do you keep a stupid person happy for hours?
Give him a piece of paper with PTO written on both sides.

Q. KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? How did you know my name?

Teacher: You should have been here at 9:00am
Boy: Why? Did something happen?!  

How do you get to wales in a car ?
1 in the front and 1 in the back.

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes  ?
Do you think he saurus ! ha ha boom boom

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the  salad dressing!!

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